You're so fucking clueless, its unbelievable.

No one likes you and I'm so sorry that were all afraid to tell you. Seriously? I have no fucking idea what has been wrong with you lately. You've been SUPER rude, arrogant, disrespectful, sassy, bitchy, and I honestly don't know what is up.

First off, what makes you think its okay to invite yourself over to other peoples houses? Common courtesy, YOU DO NOT EVER INVITE YOURSELF ANYWHERE; YOU ARE TO BE INVITED BY THE HOST. AND, YOU PICK UP AFTER YOURSELF & SAY THANK YOU AFTER. I don't understand why these principals are known universally to everyone, except for you. AND you never assume you are going over, even if you go every week. YOU STILL NEED TO ASK! And after she confronted you about the problem, you were really sassy about it. You should have apologized for your wrong doing and your being rude; not continue to fuel her fire.

Second, you've got a HUGE head right now, it's ridiculous. Who are you to tell people to shut up, and demand things from people? If you want to talk to someone, you do not demand that they come to you. YOU FUCKING GO TO THEM. And you think you're so fucking tight with everyone but in all honesty, they all think you're irritating and they say it behind your back.

Which leads me to my third point, you are a fat fucken liar. Seriously? TRAVIS DID NOT SAY HE LIKED YOU, AND I KNOW THAT FOR A FACT. HE HAS ONLY TALKED TO YOU ONCE -- SO GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS AND OPEN YOUR EYES BECAUSE REALITY IS FUCKING WAITING FOR YOU. And seriously, its really annoying when you say things like "Omg you didn't know that!? I KNEW THAT SUCH A LONG TIME AGO!" because we all know that you fucking didn't and its irritating. You also lie about tons of other shit I don't even want to think about right now. Also, it's irritating how you always ask people if you're pretty; honestly, no one gives a shit -- sorry.

You try way too fucking hard to be friends with everyone and to be other people. You need to develop a personality of your own and not rely on other people so much. You also need to learn some common courtesy and what fucking respect is. Get your shit together, and fast.

bad day.

Things just really have not been going my way lately.

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Us.

I think that things will be okay in the end, I just need/ed to step away from it all and think about things. I think that I'm seriously fucked up. It's all about the chase for me -- I think? But I'm not sure -- I may be being to skeptical about it but thats just my thoughts as of right now. I think that maybe you've become so important to me to the extent that I've created this mental image of how you could possibly be. I really have given it a lot of thought. I wish you could be my dream boyfriend, I think if you were -- we'd be sheer perfection. Maybe it really isn't meant to be though. But honestly, you never know until you try so until I feel that were fighting so much that I can't handle it, I think I'll just let us be. I truly do wish you felt stronger feelings towards me though, but at the same time; I wish you'd feel a little less than you do right now. Either way would be okay. Because if you felt less, it would be easy to let you go. But if you felt more, there wouldn't be a reason to. I hope you know that tomorrows our anniversary. I hope you do something nice..

it's been a while!

So I think I'll rebrief.

-tumblr has taken over my life.

-school has begun to fade into the black

-my priorities are FUCKED.

-I'm in a bit of a sticky situation.

-I've got almost NO time to do what I want to do.

-cheerleading as gone from a hobby to a hassle.

and last but not least

-a few fun things to turn my frown upside down!:

Friday: All School Picnic & cheering at Pac5 vs. Iolani

Saturday: Possibly beach & hw? Then The Maine & FTSK concert :)

Sometimes, I wonder if I'm the only one who feels this way.

Is Anybody Listening?

So I feel like no one ever listens to me,

like everytime I say something, I have to repeat myself at least two more times before people actually begin to take me seriously. I don't understand why I'm never taken seriously. I just wish that sometimes, I could actually talk and be heard. I don't have that one friend like other people, who they can tell everything to. I have many people who I can tell bits and pieces to, and if you put all their knowledge together, then they'd know everything. But not one person who I can completely be honest with, and trust to keep everything that I say completely safe from the world. Maybe thats what I'm missing? I don't really know. I just want to be heard.