rant

I feel so weird. I just got the chills and I seriously don't want to be here. I don't want to live in Hawaii and I seriously need to get away from here. It's making me so stressed out and I just want to live in a different country where the rules are different and the people are different and i can just start fresh and not care about whats happened in my past and build myself from scratch. I know I just recently recreated myself but I feel like I need to do it again. It's weird, like I don't dislike who I am/who I've created myself to be, I just want to be something else. But I guess thats the saddest part and I think my expectations are too high for myself and I'll never be satisfied and I think I'll keep recreating myself until I finally realize my goal is unachievable. I just want to be enough for myself.