I am alone

Hot tears began to flow out of my tear ducts and my fists clenched and I just felt like dropping and breaking something. Why couldn't I fit in? I was frustrated and I just couldn't understand, no matter how hard I tried to. I wanted to feel how everyone else feels and I wanted just for once to not care about anything. I always act like I could care less about everyone and everything but inside I am stressing over every little thing. And no one understands and no one ever will. So I hate when people say that they know what I mean because they just don't. If they did, they would be stressing over not fitting in too. I just wanted to have a boyfriend and be happy and get good grades and be pretty and thin like all the other girls. And I want to be perfect. I want people to like me. I am terrified of the rejection and I just couldn't handle anyone ever thinking little of me. Because in my dreams I am the saviour, I am the queen and I am great. I'm perfect and no one else ever questions me and everyone looks up to me and I'm beautiful. I don't care if it hurts. I just want to be perfect.