stream of consciousness #1

I don't want people to feel sorry for me - you know? I don't want to be looked down upon.

I am not dying, I'm just broken. But I'm picking myself up.

I'd like to think that people actually care but odds are they don't. And thats okay too.

Oh also I've gained 4 pounds.... and I'm feeling like a major fatass and I need to lose weight.

Big breakfast -> Small lunch -> tiny dinner

that is what I am starting next week.

I am so upset with myself. I need more isolation time because people just don't understand me. And I don't understand people or myself.

I have been eating way too much.

I have enough food in my belly to feed a tiny army.

I hate sleeping knowing my food isn't digested.

I am tired.

I want to read. I am looking forward to reading "The Fault In Our Stars", even though I don't know what it's about. I'm looking forward to it anyway, and will probably read it before it's due for summer reading.

Haha, I still can't believe I'm going to actually do the summer reading for once.

Real classes next year.....agh I'm not looking forward to that.

Do people really think I'm cynical and morbid? I wonder why.

Am I cynical and morbid?

I don't want to think any longer.

I want to read.

I want to know people care.

I want to know you care.

Do you think about me? I think about you all the time.

Would you give it a chance if I said I was sorry, and confessed?

Do I even need to confess?

I am free. I answer to no one.

But if you asked me, I would answer to you....

I don't want to be his friend any longer. I will not wait around to be summoned.

I don't want to think any longer. Goodbye.